JShu on the Journey

A Kansan takes on Missouri

Archive for March 2010

Being Brave

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A friend told me today that I am brave for being here. Another told me her mother said “why are you brave like her?” in reference to me.

I’m not sure if what I’m doing here is brave. I just was willing to put myself in a new place and try it out for awhile.

I do wonder sometimes if it’s worth it, though. No matter how much you love your job, it should never be the all-consuming thing in your life. No job is worth that much. That’s something that a prof of mine would always say but I was too thick-headed to hear it. Now I get more about what he means – outside of work, life is about relationships. Family. Friends. Significant others.

Currently my life is O for the count on this. I rarely see coworkers (the closest thing to friends I have), family is 1500 miles away, and there aren’t any people out here I’ve met that I’d seriously consider dating. When you have standards, it’s hard to find people that meet them. Especially when you’re in a place like Central Florida middle-of-nowhere. You get rednecks, druggies, and old people. And plenty of young people with no interest in furthering their education, which is sad.

Anywho. Maybe life will change. Maybe I will change. Who knows. I don’t know why I’m still typing…this kind of went off topic quickly.

Written by Jessica

March 7, 2010 at 1:54 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Present

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This week, I had an epiphany.

An ‘Aha-moment’ if you will.

I need to practice being in the present. Lately my mentality has been stuck in the past. A past identity, past events, past people. My whole sense of self seems to be in terms of who I was up until 10 months ago.

Nobody tells you when you graduate (or at least I missed it) that the world is much, much bigger than you realize. And no one cares that you were executive editor of the GlimmerGlass, let alone know what the GlimmerGlass is. You go from being a student and having your current life mapped out, to the gigantic, open range of life. What to do? Where to live? How do you keep yourself entertained? Who is in your life? Etc.

While past is important, there is a sense that I am living too much in it. This may also be the answer to unhappiness that comes occasionally of being here. I don’t see myself as wanting to stay, so why sprout roots?

But those roots are important, even if they need to be transpotted later. Roots mean growth. How am I growing if I’m keeping my connections here shallow? Am I growing? Who am I and what am I doing here?

All are thoughts bouncing around in this head of mine as of late.

This being an adult thing is weird, and definitely uncharted territory.

Written by Jessica

March 1, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Blog fail.

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I’m pretty much the worst blogger ever.

But hopefully I can dust off what’s been collecting here over the last so many months and start over.

Next week marks month #7 on the job. I failed to talk about my first six months. Basically to sum it up: I’ve learned a lot, and have nearly completely assimilated to life in Florida. It doesn’t phase me at all that I’m always the youngest person in the room or that I see golf carts everywhere anytime I leave the house.

I know that snowbird season equals lots of traffic and god-awful drivers.

In more professional terms, this has been a time of learning the art of juggling multiple stories at once, handling annoying people with grace, and being able to approach anyone to ask anything, on a minute’s notice.

It sounds strange that talking with people used to be my biggest hurdle, and now I just say hello, smile big, and get down to business. It helps that senior citizens are not the most intimidating bunch of people.

And, on the topic: I’m learning more about this demographic. The quirks. The personality of these so called ‘baby boomers’ and ‘silent generation’ people. Most are delightful people, with amazing stories to tell. Every day I’m surprised by the goodness of people here–the generosity, the kindness, and community that can be found here.

A woman who knits caps for other women going through chemo for Breast Cancer, while also battling the disease herself.

A woman and her best friend who organize trivia each week to help others stay mentally active, after losing her husband to Alzheimer’s Disease.

A woman who volunteered to help another she had never met by completing her grandmother’s quilt. The quilter put in four months of hand-sewing to complete it.

Women who quilt blankets for Ronald McDonald, a couple who collect pop tabs for Ronald McDonald.

These are a few examples of how residents give and give and give. And no doubt, many are giving their money as well as time and energy to every cause you or I could imagine.

It’s inspiring.

I want to be like them when I get old. 🙂

Anywho. This post turned a corner halfway but that’s ok.

Till next time.

Jess

Written by Jessica

March 1, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Posted in Uncategorized