JShu on the Journey

A Kansan takes on Missouri

Waiting.

with 2 comments

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I’m waiting on an interesting piece of mail.

I have to admit, as I wait for it — possibly for up to another month and a half (I’ve been waiting since the first weekend of May) — it is hard to be patient. I am not naturally a patient person.

My stages of waiting include:

1) Initial zen/excitement
2) Grumpiness that it is taking SO LONG
3) Whininess, for similar reasons
4) Total annoyance
5) Second-guessing that anything is going to happen after all

In this case of waiting, this mail is coming.

It is currently somewhere in between point A and B. It’s in transit. It’s a physical, tangible thing (if pretty mysterious to me at this point) that, barring unusual circumstances, it *should* end up at my door or in my mailbox at some point.

But I can’t help feel like it’s a metaphor for other waiting in my life. (Roll your eyes, I don’t care. I’m a writer and see metaphors everywhere.)

Often I totally discount the thing that I’m waiting for as being in stage 5 — never gonna happen. Currently, a few deferred hopes reside in that category — like finding love and like getting to live in my dream location (which if you don’t know this by now, it’s D.C.).

The older I get, the easier it is to be cynical and to grow bitter about those, even though I don’t want to be.

I want to be hopeful, but it’s hard to be hopeful when it leads to disappointment, and ultimately, sometimes, pain.

I guess I don’t know where exactly I am going with this now. But it’s good to voice this stuff.

Life is so good, but it’s also hard. I wish the waiting part was easier.

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Written by Jessica

June 17, 2014 at 4:07 am

Posted in Missouri Living, Thoughts

Tagged with , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. I always hate playing the waiting game. Each time I have to wait for something to come through it always seems to take longer! I have patience to a point then it is blown! LOL Hope you don’t have to wait to much longer!

    Amanda Loggins

    June 17, 2014 at 7:48 am

  2. Thanks! It can be pretty rough. But I’m reminded that everyone is waiting for something at different points in their lives. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in the struggle! 🙂

    Jessica

    June 18, 2014 at 1:07 am


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