JShu on the Journey

A Kansan takes on Missouri

Archive for January 2016

Things fall apart: January edition.

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It’s 10:30-ish on January 31. I’m ready for a new start already, again, so I’m pretty thankful that February 1 is upon us.

It’s funny. December 31 included work and a date with a boy, the new year beginning with a kiss, a tradition I had not yet ever¬†actually taken part in. A little over a week later, the boy became my first boyfriend. We were boyfriend and girlfriend, a label that felt a little¬†foreign, but right.

Then, less than two weeks later, we weren’t. The words “We need to break up” tumbled out of his lips as we sat in a low-lit Crossroads bar. It all happened so quickly and took me by such surprise, I couldn’t form words to respond.

It feels a lot less raw now, thankfully, but I still am struggling to suddenly write out a guy who had been part of my daily life for the last three months or so, much less get my head around the reasons for our uncoupling.

So anyway. Here I stand on the other side, trying to press forward. I’ve done a decent job of doing that, I think. I think I’m going to pick up watercolor painting, pick up my knitting again. Eventually I’ll rejoin online dating again (reluctantly, again) but for now I need a little space.

Anyway. I don’t want to sound depressed, because as a whole, I’m really not. I’ve been grateful for the kind words of friends and time with them. I have a decent life that stands on its own, apart from being attached to a man.

Oddly enough, between this guy and the last guy I saw, I have this growing feeling that if it’s not him, there is a man out there who will be right. It’s a weird confidence, but it feels true in a way that it hasn’t before.

I just wish he’d hurry up and get here already…


Written by Jessica

January 31, 2016 at 11:48 pm

Hello, 2016.

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Hello, friends.

I nearly forgot about this space. Then a few days ago I received an email about my 2015 posts. All three of them. (Oops).

Let’s just say 2015 was an interesting year. I felt like a lot of it was tentative. Under wraps. Not yet a thing.

To be clear, a lot went down in that short time frame. I spurned online dating. I let someone back into my life after I felt hurt and let down by them in 2014. I went to at least two weddings (and wished I could have made it to others). I cooed over friends’ babies and learned I’m going to become an aunt next year.

I adventured to Illinois and Michigan. I learned a lot about Abraham Lincoln.

I wrote a 3,800-word story and part of that reporting effort won an state broadcasting award. I challenged the status quo. I applied for jobs and interviewed. I turned 28.

I waited. And found distractions in my waiting.

I found out that I had a lump (non-cancerous) in my thyroid and underwent low-dose radiation treatment. Still waiting to fully see the outcome of that.

In September, I accepted a job offer. And life moved awfully fast the last few months of the year. I quit my job in St. Joseph, a town that began to felt more like home than any other place post college.

I moved to Kansas City in late October. I’m still convinced it’s the best city on earth and I marvel at the skyline every day when I commute into work downtown. I can get lost in thought gazing out the window at my desk, which gives an 8th-floor view of a busy street.

Then…the most recent thing that still feels new and tentative but growing: I met a guy.

Literally the day after parting ways with someone else, I rejoined Tinder (even though I have a well-documented hate of online dating) and immediately matched with someone. And yeah. I’ve seen him more in the last month than anyone else and there is something growing that is lovely and it makes me gushy and mushy and excited.

It’s been quite a year, just typing that out. I’m sure I’m forgetting something. Or a lot of things. Or purposely glossing over others. But that was my 2015. I am so excited for 2016 and what it might have in store.

All good things, I hope.

It’s looking excellent so far.

Written by Jessica

January 2, 2016 at 12:23 am

Posted in Missouri Living