JShu on the Journey

A Kansan takes on Missouri

Archive for September 2016

Living my story

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I know I haven’t posted in an awful long time, but I am still alive. 

I’ve been trying to think of what to blog about. It’s hard when so much of my life right now feels in process. I’m a giant WIP, or work-in-progress if you aren’t a knitter or other craft-doer. 

My life has felt exceedingly boring lately. I go to work. I go home. Repeat. I sometimes go to lectures or art exhibits or plays or First Fridays. 

I’ve been back in KC for almost a year now but still don’t quite feel plugged in yet. I know it takes time and I need to spend more effort reconnecting with my network here. I thought it’d be easier for some reason. It never really is, especially when you get older and everyone is in a wholly different life stage as you. 

It’s pretty much still nothing doing in the romance department. It’s lame but I’m still working on getting over the guy who dumped me way back when. I’m more over it than then, but it still sometimes hits me how fun it was or how cute he was or why did he dump me? Because I think I’m a pretty cool person, obvs. I just wasn’t his ex-wife. 

I’ve been on and off Tinder and OKCupid. I’ve gone on dates. I’ve gone on very good first dates leading to second-third-fourth-fifth dates only to get the fade (not quite a ghost, but more a slow deceleration and then a ceasing of conversation). 

It is, honestly, exceedingly frustrating to be trying to do all the right things and be all the right things and to have nothing to show for it. I kind of just want to withdraw and become a hermit sometimes, tbh. Hermits don’t have their hearts broken. 

But that’s an update. If you wanted to know. I’m still very much still living out my story. I guess we all are, really. 

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Written by Jessica

September 2, 2016 at 9:10 pm

Posted in Uncategorized