JShu on the Journey

A Kansan takes on Missouri

Posts Tagged ‘okcupid

And, I’m off…

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Of OK Cupid. For now. I’d like to meet people in this place called “The real world.”

Let’s see what happens. 

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Written by Jessica

March 3, 2013 at 12:27 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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I suck at dating.

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Fact: I haven’t gone on a date in about two years.

Two. Long. Years. And what’s sadder? It wasn’t really an official date kind of date…sigh.

Part of this has to be geography. For one of those years, I lived next to what is sometimes called Disney World for senior citizens. Another part of it is just not meeting many people beyond work/working an awful lot/moving.

This weekend, at a low point realizing that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, I succumbed to temptation and put my dating profile back up on OK Cupid. I’ve not really shared this extensively, but I’ve been on and off it for the last few years.

I’ve really been more off than on — I kind of have a love-hate relationship with it. I love the ability to see people I probably wouldn’t have otherwise met. I hate the uneasy feeling that so much of online dating is just like shopping for a significant other…we’ve managed to reduce meeting possible spouses into just a shopping list of items. There’s just something so … inorganic about it all and I’m not really sure if I will find someone there. But there’s something to be said for trying and putting yourself out there, so there you go.

Given that, it’s kind of a funny coincidence (or a God-ordained moment?) that I’ve been snapped up into a single young ladies’ group at church AND the first sermon series I’ll hear here is about marriage/relationships. Yeah, I bet you can guess my first reaction to that news. It may have involved an involuntary gag reflex. 😉

But it’s started and it’s been pretty decent. I really appreciate my pastor’s sensitivity and honesty in addressing some pretty tough topics, like why we’ve as a culture delayed marriage and why it’s important to be pure before marriage and why we need to have a solid foundation in God before we really can love other people selflessly. The last is a good reminder — unlike the messages we hear elsewhere, we don’t find completion or wholeness in another person, it’s really in God. We love others because He first loved us. (See 1 John 4:19 for that one!)

It seems like the older I get, the more clearer the ache gets for another person to do life with. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel like I’m hopelessly single. It doesn’t help that nearly every other day Facebook delivers new hearts in the upper-righthand corner of my screen: “So and so is engaged!!!!!” I mean, seriously, Facebook? It’s usually hard to miss the million ring pictures, was that feature really necessary? And well-meaning loved ones. They can be add to it, for sure.

Like so much I’ve been thinking about in the last year with jobs junk (having a crappy one, getting a better one at a financially not-so-great company to getting a new one), I really just have to trust in God’s providence and timing. And try to confine my inner-green-eyed-monster.

Barbara, the leader of my small group, has been beating one thing into our heads in recent weeks, and I’m kind of trying to internalize it. She always says the desire to get married is God-given, and quotes Psalm 37:4…”Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

So, who knows? Maybe there’s hope for me yet. Despite sucking at dating. 😉

Written by Jessica

February 5, 2013 at 2:19 am